Saturday, September 10, 2022

Love & Marriage

The Grey Gritty Details of Long Term Marriage...

( - article 

Well, I have to say the article makes an eyebrow perk for the simple fact of being objective in its scope of the reality of human relationships.

While I may not have enough mileage under my belt to mark for time-served, the sentence can still seem just as long depending on which side of the proverbial fence you stand. That said, I've done plenty of pre-emptive play in the field in theory and practice to have solidly earned the compass on which I stand.

How can we wax poetic about sharing every intimate moment, detail, experience with another person when it's hard enough at times to humor ourselves in the solitary company we keep? Though, if you're like me, you likely enjoy the epic adventures and wickedly insane inconsistencies that traffic through your head like a toy you tease the cat with. I mean, if YOU are not your best friend - albeit the worst enemy at times - who else would want to be?

But let's humor the thought that we enjoy the company we keep and that we actually find that "special someone" to share in our own personal brand of crazy. Now what? We live in an age of instant gratification where the click of a mouse or tap of a fingertip can have our food, shelter and everything in between delivered to our door in under an hour... Or just as easily toggle the wrong ticker and bring the world as we know it to an end.

Interesting. Scary. Intriguing. But we'll get into the ultimate price we pay for technology another day and stick with the fact that when the music stops and all the warm fuzzy Hollywood bromance feelings fade away from the initial excitement of starting something new, underneath it all we're really not that interesting. Not enough to hold our own attention (or we wouldn't need Google on standby) and so we reach the frightening realization that if we can't at least entertain ourselves then how the hell are we going to entertain someone else for the next X amount of years we've got left?

Well, there's two sides to every argument, to every witty remark spat from the corner of your mount in commentary when you really meant it to be just plain mean in your own mind. Two sides to every gentle kiss or roaring rake of fingers tugging at your hair in those more rambunctious hours. Yes, two sides to every laugh, tear, inside joke, loss, painful gaze, humiliation or any other range of inhuman emotion we can muster and the truth is it doesn't really matter.

Take my side or his, either way I'll still be right and wondering how the rest of my life will develop in so-called domestic bliss when I can't even commit to a cellular carrier. Maybe the sad reality is human life isn't technically measured in the "long-term." Again, constantly moving in an age of uncertainty, the short-lived land of free-trials and no-contract commitments doesn't give one the satisfaction of safety that tying the knot once did.

So, if you're not in total disagreement with the off-putting notion of meeting your mate just to slowly watch the person that peaked your interest initially fade away into 50 shades of just freaking weird by all standards and slowly taking the role of nursing them to the grave alongside your own ageing and intolerable ego then you might wonder if I'm writing this as the diehard romantic and eternal optimist... Or the realistic and simply objective cynic that sees things for what they are.

I guess the real answer all comes down to what you can live with, what you actually want (will we ever figure that one out or will it continue to surprise us?) and realistically... What you can get.

That might sound sad, but it's true... Sort of. I can wane critical if I want to. My truth is for me and at the moment I'm happy with that. I somehow found another soul out there that doesn't care about the imperfections I so strongly try to mask even from myself and he actually enjoys a few of them. Then again, things change and one day the show could be cancelled or the audience evacuated because the talent couldn't live up to the standards that the show set forth. What then?

I guess the realistic, somewhat sane and equal-sided answer to the equation is to enjoy it. Not 'enjoy it while it lasts' because nothing will ever survive entered into with that attitude, but just enjoy it. Relish every minute every chance you get and buckle up for the bet of a lifetime as you and your mate rocket into the imagined future as twin flames torching down the walls of established marital traditionalism and forge your own path together - never once taking a single step without remembering to be kind, be patient, remember to breathe and NEVER... EVER... Lose your sense of humor.

What's the worst that can happen?

Save that question for the lawyers out there. 😉

As always,

A Jonathan Black Observation
#AJBO #basikblack #basikbucks #marriage